Hmm, my second post of the day.

I just realised i'm in a middle of a bitch war, and i might justb e the next victim. Better keep a low profile for now =] For now, i feel like singing, singing till my heart's content. I want to sing hana, and the akustica songs, and eric whitacre songs, and i want to learn the magic songs. But the sucky part is the memorising. I seriously hate that. hatehatehatehatehate. I'm lucky enough to learn some of the songs last year. but i can't wait for carolling. like seriously, i need that now, other than money of course.

I need to stop going out. I saw this awesome rayban sunglasses. i'll try to take a pic soon and post it up here. it's going at an awesome price of 258 too! Sigh, and i still have yet to buy my side table(40) and mirror(10). i'm planning to use my next fornight's allowance to subscribe to arena(90). Sigh so many things to buy, so little money.

Identity Crisis

R said that i have an identity crisis.

This got me pondering for a few days, and i realised that she was telling me the truth i didn't want to hear. I thought to myself and realised that i've been living my life through someone else's shoes. It's like i always try to be someone i'm not, and emulating that person's actions and thoughts. Of course, these actions and thoughts are what i perceive that person would say or do. To put it simply, i'm trying to be someone else by doing things i think that person would do. And it's not always the same person. Like when i'm writing an essay, i try to be like Kenny, when i want to save money, i try to be like bitsy and imitate his saving money tactics. when i sing, i try to sound like desmond or steven. when i'm gymming, i take on another persona and the same goes for my room. I'm trying to make my room seem like another person's room. I don't have my own set of ideas, or rather my ideas are mostly derived from someone i'm trying to be. And i think it has gotten quite bad.
i think this has also indirectly caused me to become so weight conscious too. I'm really want to be myself, but i don't remember what 'myself' used to be anymore.

I really hate the word pathetic because it downgrades and humiliates the person being called pathetic but i really have to use that word on myself now.

Finally a long post.

I realised i've not been blogging consistently, and most of the time, they are rather short posts. So since i have the time to spare (actually i should be studying for chinese alevels), i shall rant.

The weekend was nice. I guess after one whole week of chinese, i'm really really glad the weekend came. I feel quite rejuvenated now. Prac was quite nice on saturday, although i hate the 4 people thing. Whose idea was it anyway? Anyway, i screwed up again on 'gaudete' and 'do you hear'. 'Do you hear' was bad enough, and to top it off, i had to sing the wrong notes in 'gaudete'. seriously, i've been given enough chances already and i still cannot get it. I've really tried, maybe someone else should do it. But marcuslee from chorale came up to me and said my voice was not bad. Sigh, i hope it wasn't to make me feel better. I really wanna do the solo well. i really do.

After choir, no one was free. So i had to go to parkway to wait for 3 hours until kenny was done. I felt like buying more things when i went to parkway. Went to check out the free weights, it was $100+..i really should start saving up for those. And i saw a few more fbts on sale in giant. I went to check out the acoustic guitars in yamaha too. quite nice and pricey.

Bryan was sick, really sick. so we cancelled our ikea outing and went to bryan's house instead. The journey there was quite annoying and it pissed me off. But it's okay cuz we got to laugh at your highness on the way there. Anw, we ordered pizza in the end and went home after that. Our ikea outings always end up in bitsy moments...lol

Sunday was better. I went to the gym in the morning =] and then to bryan's in the afternoon. I finally managed to play dota after such a long time. Although we lost a few matches, it was quite fun. Bryan had to go off and eat expensive meals so i went home..i went to cut my hair on the way back and the uncle there was nice and friendly, waxed my hair for free too. After that i went to chat with my optician. haha haven't had such a long chat with her before. I saw a pair of sunglasses which was really nice to the max too. The price is also to the max too..but i think i shall save for it. it costs 258, so probably by next year chinese new year i can get it =] i think i shall forgo the 142 adidas jacket since it's not really practical. but i will still but an adidas jacket..but a cheaper one, maybe $100? yea, i guess i really should be saving up this holiday. Xianhui offered me a job but i'd have to do it alone and the pay's not really good. If i had company then it'd be a different story..so i guess in the mean time, i shall ask my parents for money.

Oh wait, i forgot, there's a recession going on. $%^&!!

A random person.

On my way back from school today, i just suddenly thought of an unexpected person. Someone whom i haven't talked to in a while. Anw, i met her just last saturday and it was damn funny to talk to her, even though it's just a few sentences. haha but i miss talking to shuwei. seems so long ago that i last talked to her. haha whenever i think of her i'll think of bits and the incident. Cracks me up all the time haha



yeap this is the photo which made me think of her during the bus ride home. i just happened to see that photo as i was randomly browsing through my ipod photos.

Work is piling up for the holidays;

I&R
OP
Chinese Alevels
2 or 3 math papers
revise econs
revise history
Lots of GP worksheets

Anw, morning went out to swim. Got a tan and swam a few laps. Woots, i think i'm starting to like swimming even more.

afternoon, did my I&R abit and did my chinese compres. Emphasis on the 's' in 'compres'. So i did more than 1 compre. Maybe 2 i think. But the bulk of my afternoon was watching heroes!! I need to refresh my memory so i've been watching heroes season 1 and 2. Watched season 3 today. Totally awesome. There's so many powers i wished i had. The power to talk to machines, telekenesis, mind reading, superspeed, control fire, invisibility, prophetic vision, turn things into solid gold, electricity manipulation, healing. The list goes on. Imagine what i could do with those powers! I would finally be able to buy my new slippers and a new shoebag! haha =]

Happy Birthday Renee!

I'm not really good with presents and cards so yea..But I really appreciate you since the start of this year. Even though i can't be there all the time cuz i pon so much, just know that i'm there with you mentally, if not physically, if u ever need a listening ear. Thanks for being my bestfriend ;]

In My Mind

awesome song by melodie and cherissa. I'm addicted to it, and so it pocks. Oh and i need to buy a new shoebag and a pair of num slippers cuz someone stole mine. I'm such a sucker with money.

Recession

i hate recessions. That means lesser spending power. just when i'm on a roll here. i still have a few more stuff to buy. sigh.

1) Mirror (Ram from Ikea)[9.90]
2) limegreen gym gloves, the one i saw at cathay adidas with pocks [29.90]
3) Adidas jacket at J8 i saw that time with edna about 1 or 2 months ago [142]
4) Cushion covers [19]
5) Side table [29]
6) cologne i saw at cathay with jialing!! [75 or 95]
7) Black choker [13]
8) Full FBT set [13.50 ea]
9) Free weights
10)New itouch silicon cover
11)Mouse

sigh, i guess these are in order of priority..I must work during the holidays..and continue GYMMING and SWIMMING!!! and studying i guess =.=

$

I just realised without money, one cannot do anything much.

Yesterday was fun day! ice skating and raiders plus choir. Sigh but i kept borrowing money from friends i hope it doesn't become a habit. Yea, i felt like really hopeless and lost and like i couldn't do anything without money. I seriously like money i swear. Whoever said money can't buy happiness is really living in a desolute world. Money can indeed bring you happiness. Although it can't buy love though. But who needs love when u can have material wealth. It can last you thoughout a whole entire lifetime. The happiness i get derived from buying new furniture and clothing is so elating. With money, i don't have to work and that means not having to study. Oh man, i wish that was the case. I wanna strike the lottery someday, or find some rare artifact or maybe find a pink diamond on the street. I wish i had that kind of luck. Then, at least i can satisfy my short term wants. Who cares about long term when i can enjoy now. I need a holiday badly.