In the midst of it all

It's almost hilarious how i don't give a heck how i did for my exams. All the work that i have put in since primary school..No, all the work i have been FORCED to put in. And until now, i still don't see the point. Why must we goddamn study so hard and do the things that we dispise so much? Why must i succumb to what others say and be influenced by them? why can't i make my own desicions? I never wanted to be where i am now. If not for my friends, i would probably have commited suicide by now. I tried asking God,, but i believed he abandoned me, or rather i abandoned him. Why must we live under the expectatiosn of others? Fuck. I'd rather do nothing and be happy than do something i know i don't love. I seriously don't feel the pressure of promos or school or studying. At this point, i don't care if i fail any subjects or have a billion R-papers or if i even drop out of this dumb school. I just feel like breaking this glass ceiling and start earning my own keep. Fuck.

Standing on the rooftop tell everybody scream your heart out.

I want to be a more elastic consumer i.e. i want to have the ability to spend i.e. I want more money!! I love econs =.=

Why isn't anyone blogging?

I hate studying. Period.

Seriously, get your fucking head in the game. Next week's your promos, and here i am procrastinating shit. Fuck there's not enough time, and it's because i have lousy time management. Bullshit. This is all bullshit. I HATE STUDYING I HATE STUDYING I HATE STUDYING. Someone kill me so i don't have to do it myself. I just want to have a study-free life. Is that all too much to ask? Study so much for what? Just to get that fucking A level cert, then what? Go to uni and STUDY again la. Fuck, if this is the life i'm gonna lead, then i'd rather die. or become a beggar. whatever. Seriously, i just don't see the point in working so hard anymore. In the end, i'm proving nothing. I'm not accomplishing any shit here by studying. I don't know how many times i've said this but i'm gonna say it again. I wish i had all the money in the world. Quote me. If i had all the money in the world i don't have to study anymore, (insert ramblings)... All work and no play makes philip wanna kill himself. Shit i hate my life. I just wanna drop out of this place i call "school" and start working or something. Afterall, vj is soo deciving. i seriously don't know why i came to this school. Fuck i don't know what i'm going to next year with Alevels and lots of choir. Don't be surprised if i commit suicide sometime next year.

Oh by the way, i stopped beliving anymore. I just realised that every sunday morning since the beginning of my life has been a big fat lie.

I'd rather do nothing and be happy than do something that I don't like.

Should i gym at the club tmr? or should i go to thompson to study? or should i go home straight after school for a "well deserved" rest? or should i stay in school to study? Or should i go to the airport and study and head on to bitsy's after that? I dunno, can someone tell me what to do tomorrow?

08A13

This is home
Now I'm finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching
For a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home